Mother Gooseberry/Unused Dialogues

This page contains all unused dialogues for Mother Gooseberry.

Gameplay	Mansion	Orphanage	Fun Park	Toy Factory	Datamined / Unused

Removed Dialogues[]

Open The Gates - Introduction (Removed after Project Lupara update)
Careful, children. There are perverts and baby-snatchers roaming our halls. Don't trust anyone.
Switching Targets (Removed after Early Access)
Why, it's a veritable tea party!
That one! I want that one!
Mother has love for all of you!
Come join the party, darling.
Another naughty child!
I just love a party.

Datamined/Unused Dialogues[]

Gameplay[]

Rage Mode - Unaffected
I LIVE ON HUFFING GAS, YOU MORON! THAT DOES NOTHING!
Drugs, on my Phyllis?! The great bitch eats benzedrine in her weenies for god sake!
So sweet of you to try child, but really that does nothing for me!
Heavens, do I smell, is that pumpkin pie? Oh, you naughty children and your sugary treats.
Oh, no thank you, dear!
None for me. I'm fine! The cows coked to the gills, that does nothing!

Mansion[]

After drilling the hand
Oops! You clumsy cow! They said to kill the weak ones! You made him all slippery, Daddy, I couldn't help it. I'll show you slippery, Phyllis...
When Reagent enters the gazebo
Why would you want to hurt poor old Doctor Futterman? He just wanted to clean your filthy mouthses. Teach you some manners. But you grinds me like yesterday's chops. The doctors will not be happy with you.
That's how you get an invitation to Drillsville!
You know what I likes in a child.
My drill!

Fun Park[]

Entrance
The nice doctors said the new children can be ours if we teach them to behave. Leaves it to me, Gooseberry. But I so enjoyed instructing the children. The Futtermaniac family just keeps growing like uhh... like a, beautiful... like a mighty oak - like a mighty moral oak tree, Dr. Futterman. Likes my elephantine daughter.
Careful, Doctor Daddy, you don't want your drill to make any extra boo-boos around the eye holes. It's a surgical drill, Phyllis, it's mades for eye-holing. I know, Daddy, you just get so excited... Hmm? What's this? New friends. I hope they're looking for a good time.
There. That's a pretty smile. Phyllis, we haves uninvited guests. Hmm? Oh. Who are these grumpy faces? Well. We'll just have to fix their smiles, too.
Futterland Intercom
Who's a silly goose whose ready to have some fun? You are! Welcome to Futterland, where good behavior and dental hygiene are fun fun fun.
My, but aren't you willful children? Coming into Futterland without permission. Well, won't this be fun?
Naughty, naughty, stealing tickets to Futterland. Won't Dr. Futterman just be so disappointed in you! And you never know where that silly goose is going to pop up
Oh, you children. Still haven't learned your lesson. You still think you could do whatever you please? Well, you're in Dr. Futterman's office now. That angry goose could be anywhere.
Brush away the filth. Floss away the gristle. Drill away the rotten bits. You're clean as the whistle. (Whistling) Welcome to Futterland. ( 2 ) ( 3 ) ( 4 ) ( 5 )
Oh, you happy little Futtermaniacs! You finally made it home, a place so wonderful no child has ever left!
Root Canal - Alternate or extended intro
Phyllis, for the love-a-God you can see what you're doing, right? I'm giving them faces, Daddy. Identities. You're putting cold-cuts on a doll. The scientists said if we work on our identities, we'll get better. Even better than better. We'll get best.
...there. The children will see your smile, and you won't be so scary. Not like those... awful bogey men, with their masks and harlequin rags. The ones the scientists send to torment me. Not that I mind. There's medicine, and there's sugar... We still have fun.
...daddy I think this may be some of my finest work. You can barely tell she didn't have a face to start with. She'll be the belle of the ball. Nobody's as pretty as mother, of course. But isn't she lovely?
Won't the doctors like this. All these cheerful and well-groomed identities. Fucks those doctors. I'm the only doctor you need. Of course, Doctor Daddy. I meant the... the Scientists, who have the keys. Who tell us when we get to go back out and use all the new skills we've been practicing.
What a gift. You'd come here, to the Root Canal, just when I was running out of faces. Come in, come in. Daddy and I have such fun planned. We're gonna slice your fucking face off. Daddy, language.
Oh. You've made it to the Root Canal. Oh, please, do come in. It's just the place your kind deserves.
Phyllis. Look who decided to join us. Well. Won't they make interesting sounds dying? Come in, come in. We'll just get things ready for you.
Uh-oh. Who are these grumpy faces? Well, come in, come in. Maybe my Daddy can help those smiles come out.
Hmm? You've come here? To the Root Canal? You just walked in? Oh my. Daddy.... What a bunch of ignoramuses. You're going to die here. It's going to hilarious.
Starting the ride
(Humming)
Making progress on boat
What do you think you're doing? This ride isn't fit for children. You could hurt somebody. You stop this instant or so help me... I may have to issue a mild correction.
What are you doing? This ride is dangerous. It's for bad people, not my precious, innocent children. Doctor daddy! They want to hurt the children! We'll show them hurt. If it's that kind of party I'm gonna get my beak wet. Oh, Daddy, is it dental hygiene time?
You shut that down this instant. You're going to hurt the children. Oh goodness, you INTEND to hurt the children, don't you? Daddy. Doctor Daddy, they're going to... I knows, Phyllis. But they won'ts be hurting anybody with their lungs ripped out, will they? (Giggling) ( 2 )
Hey, hey, hey. Trespassing in here's one thing, but startin' up the ride? The fuck's wrong with you? Daddy, I think they want to hurt the children! Nots those precious children. Oh, we're gonna have something to say about this.
Hey, fuckheads, what are you doing, starting up the Root Canal? You're gonna hurt somebody. This was supposed to be a fun place, where only bad people get hurt. Not my precious little ones. Oh, we'll haves fun. Don'ts you worry about that.
Protecting the Carousel
Get away from that! What are you doing?
You're ruining everything!
No, you'll hurt the children!
What in the name of God is wrong with you?
You want a ride? I'll give you a fucking ride.
Get me over there, Phyllis. Now, now.

Orphanage[]

Reagents approaching the Orphanage
Good morning, children. We have a busy day of fun ahead of us. Why don't we all indulge in a little morning pick-me-up?
Rise and shine, my wonderful babies. Let's welcome the day with some up-tempo music and a fortifying sniff of happy powder.
I know we had a late night, but babies don't need their beauty sleep when they've got mother's little helper. Wake up, it's time to snort your breakfast.
Good morning children, let's shake the cobwebs off with a little of mother's magic helper.
Good morning, good morning! Let's have a song and a snort to welcome the day.
When Reagent stands across the desk area after her announcement
Daddy, I think we have surprise guests. I gots a surprise for them. Oh Daddy, you cad.
Now who are these party poopers? All I sees are tonsils to tickle. Oh, Daddy, lets.
You're not orphans. What do you think you're doing here? What they're gonna do here is die screaming. The Doctor's always right.
Daddy, are these adults friend of yours? Lemme dip my beak and sees if they taste familiar. Yes, Daddy.
Patrolling the Classrooms
Remember, one stab is never enough.
Stabbing is like laughing. You can do too little, but you can never do too much.
Stabbing is like laughing. It's harder to keep from doing it when you're not supposed to. ( 2 )
Stabbing somebody is like making a friend. It's scary at first, but nobody likes a fucking wallflower.
See how Johnny and Jenny find time to enjoy themselves?
It's just a game. Everybody's having fun.
You're not learning if you're not laughing. ( 2 )
Just leave the children's education to mother.
You keep your superstitious judgement out of my children. How's about you don't puts anything in the children?
Teacher knows best.
...Take all the fun out of my kids. I'll show you fun. ( 2 )
Never too old for a spanking...
A parent has to be able to control the cultural environment of their children.
Why would you want to frighten the children like that? All this cannibalism and murder and perversion. You have not right.
They're children. They're innocent. Why would you show them something like that?
That's not fun. That's awful. You're awful.
You're... demons Perverts and killjoys. Showing my children that kind of rot. I'm going to have to hurt you.
I'm trying to give these kids a moral foundation. We have to raise them in the real world, not some... magical gobbledygook.
Crashing the Party
You... You... Party crashers. Wet blankets. ( 2 )
Nobody invited you to this party. Nobody invited JESUS.
We were having fun. And then you schmucks showed up.
Ruin my party. I'll show you fun. ( 2 )
Come back, little donkey. We've got a new game! I'm gonna pin something so far up you tokkes it tickles your tonsils.
I'm BORED. You're boring me. And boring fucks gets bored.
You don't ruin my party!
This party never ends.
You keep your schmaltz-eyed Christian chomo bullshit away from my children!
I'll show you faith. I'll give you something to believe in.
You leave those children alone! We have to protect the children.
There's all kind of parties we can have.
Protecting the Christ
What in Heaven's name is wrong with you?
Look away, Children!
If it's that kind of party, I'm getting my beak wet!
Could you really hate dancing this much?
In front of the children? Shame on you.
What a mess. Disgusting.
What are you doing? You'll get blood everywhere!
Children shouldn't operate machinery!
Doctor Daddy, they're playing with your tools! Then let's play, Phyllis.
It's like you're trying to make a mess!
These machines are dangerous.
Don't you dare. Just awful...
Turning Off Power
I shut down that awful machine, and I'll keep shutting it down.
You will not run those awful machines so long as I'm here.
I turned it off. I'll turn all of them off, you awful killjoys.
Mother says you may not.
I turned it off. I can do this all day.
I showed Daddy that awful machine you were playing with and he shut it right down. Didn't you, Daddy?
Patrolling the Generators
Mother said, you may not!
If you don't make a mess, we don't have to clean.
You stay away from Daddy's machines.
You're going to get blood everywhere. ( 2 )
This isn't yours to play with.
This isn't that kind of party.
Don't Talk to Strangers
Listen to Doctor Daddy, children. There are killjoys among us. ( 2 )
I'm sorry children, I try to keep you safe but they got in. These... bohemians. Fanatics. Don't listen to them. Don't let them hurt you. Mama's trying.
Children. Listen to me. You're in danger. There are people here who want to twist your minds. To hurt you. Hide. Don't let them find you. ( 2 )
Don't Get Adopted
Attention, Children! These people, with their bibles and morals and rules, they're trying to take you away from me. That's not what you want, is it? You don't want to leave Mama.
Children. I know we have jokes. I try to keep things fun. But you have understand-- if you let them turn you into brainwashed Christian pullstring dolls, they'll adopt you. You'll be taken away from me.
Children. I want you to think for a moment. These people, trying to change your brains... To teach you obedience and then isolate you. That's what you do to someone you want to hurt in some horrible, secret way.
Listen, children. They say they want to "educate" you. To give you Christian value. What are those lessons? Obedience? Secrecy? Perversion? They're going to hurt you, darlings.
Please don't listen to them, Children. Please don't let them take you away from me.
Balcony
Why did you wake me up? The nice doctors said we have new children to meet. Nice doctors. I'm the only doctor you need. Daddy. Dr. Futterman, I'm Dr. Futterman, mother! I'm the TV here, silly slut! I'm sorry, Doctor Daddy.
No.. Dr. Futterman, they just haven't learned. Humbugs. There aren't bad children. Just ignorant children. Humbugs, I says.
The nice doctors said the new children can be ours if we teach them to behave. Leave that to me, Gooseberry. But I so enjoyed instructing the children. The Futtermaniac family just keeps growing like uhh... like a, beautiful... Likes my elephanty daughter. Like a mighty oak, like a mighty moral oak tree, Dr. Futterman.
Hurry, Dr. Futterman. I'm waddling as fast I can't! We have to be ready for the new children! They have so much to learn! I hope they're juicy as the last batch! Daddy. Calls me doctor. Stupid! These new children are gonna be good children. I can feel it! Juicy little goose berries. Oh, yeah.
You should've let me sleeps, you great flattening cow.
But we have new children to teach Dr. Futterman. Poor, little orphan urchins with no one to show them the way!
They'll be as lazy and fragile as the lastest batch! Get blood all over my clean orifice!
You mean "office", daddy.
That's what it says: Orifice. And call me doctor, Phyllis, how many god damn times.
Yes, Dr. Futterman. But only if you call me, Mother Gooseberry. The TV cameras are watching all the time.
You're slow as shmucks in a buffalo winter. I'm going as fast as I can, Dr. Futterman. Help me get to the childrens before they're ruined while they're still smelly. Melly. Malleable, Dr Futterman? Soft. Workables. Client. Yes, Dr. Futterman! We'll take of it children. They'll be good Futtermaniacs by the time we're through.
Window
A morality drill. I know the morality drill, daddy. Doctor, you stupid cow! I oughta morality drills a hole in your heads! Hygiene! Cleanliness is next to godliness, doctor. The firm hand! Spare the rod, you'd spoil the child. Toyses! They're imagination-powered friends. You shall not steal. You get what you get and you don't get upset. Safety first! Protect those precious. Precious little bodies. Not bads, Mother Gooseberry. Not bads.
The producers want us to use a firmer hand for the children. Producers? What producers? Why, The television producers, Doctor Futterman. You saids, "They were doctors". I.. oh, did I? Of course, the good doctors behind the cameras. Oh, daddy. Sometimes, I get so confused. Take your medicine, Phyllis. We can't let the little bastards see you like this.
These poor confused children. Don't get soft on me. But they suffer so... You gots to break some goose eggs to make a child! Everyone knows that.
I'm just so tired. You don't spent so much energy complaining, you great shmunks! Maybe the nice doctors who watch us can get me more pills. I'm the only doctors, you need. They said they'd give me more pills. Ohh, dizzy.
You can't let the childrens get ahead of you. I'm going as fast as I can, Doctor Futterman. Move your caboose berry, Gooseberry. We'll be ready. The new children will learn their lesson and learn it well. Then, they can be Futtermaniacs, too.
It just warms my heart when the children have burned their Futtermaniac cap. The way their eyes light up. You're too soft on them. Sometimes, you needs the brush. Sometimes, you needs the drill. Even the good children need the drill sometimes, Doctor Futterman. Nobody's perfect.

Miscellaneous[]

Note: The original file names for these dialogues do not have any proper names and/or subtitles in the game files. The interactions between Mother Gooseberry and Doctor Futterman are based solely on interpretation.

Song
Wouldn't you like to be a good child? Wouldn't it feel good to be liked? Ask your parents if you can. Come join the band. Doctor F U double-T E R Man. Doctor Futterman. Doctor Futterman. Every morning, every night. Doctor Futterman. Doctor Futterman. And keep those choppers pearly white. Who's a dental hygiene goose known all across the land? Doctor F.U. Double T.E.R.Man. If cavities attack your teeth, he'll lend a helping hand. Doctor F.U. Double T.E.R.Man. And here's all the uhh... Futterman parts. Floss. Brush. Floss. Brush. So step into my office, it's time to clean your orifice with Doctor Futterman.
... Mother Gooseberry had a farm. E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm she had some kiss. E-I-E-I-O. With a firm hand here, and a soft touch there, here a hand, there are fifth good behavior gets a kiss. Mother Gooseberry had a farm. E-I-E-I-O.
(Hum the tune to "Futterman song")
Unknown
...Dad, can I ask you something?
One of those men. Those other scientists. He called me an asset. Who does that mean? Call me doctor, you dummy! Just maybe because you don't got assets. You gotta a bag of watermelon someone dropped down the stairs!
Dr. Futterman, do you think we're not in Pittsburg anymore? ( 2 )
This is just like when the polices raided our studio. You didn't go far enough. ( 2 )
Tell your parents all you want is your very own plush, Dr. Futterman!
I thought that toys would help them learn since they don't seem the fact that our hand is like the spoonful of sugar with the medicine.
What? These are educational toys, doctor.
I give you my precious toys, and that's what you do! You ungrateful spoiled little runches! I'll show you what wicked children get.
Well. If you don't like my rules and you don't like my friends, and you don't like my toys. Well, maybe it's time Mother Gooseberry made her own fun!
It's just all look so strange. Looks like our street and our studio but I don't think it's quite right somehow. ( 2 )
Only the very best children get into Futterland. Tickets of four dollars, eight years of very best behavior, and the very best behavior, and the sprinkle of sugar and spice.
You can see it from here children, but the only way you can get into Futterland is good behavior and your very own ticket.
Well, those silly parents of yours are always leaving money around.
Naughty, naughty, stealing tickets to Futterland. What Dr. Futterman just be so disappointed in you and you never know where that silly goose is going to pop out.
Oh, you awful little brats! That's not how you get a ticket to Futterland!
Only good children get to go to Futterland. Not the wicked willful, who break their toys and temp their peers and disobey their elders. No, those children go somewhere else entirely.
And you know you're buying good behavior for your child because it's Dr. Futterman. Doctor! Doctors calls me Dr. Futterman! If you keeps fucking this mess up, the scientist are gonna gives us the shock again! Language, Dr. Futterman. We're on television.
The television producers, Dr. Futterman.
The producers want us to use a firmer hand for the children.
We don't have the rights to that song! We're on TV for god's sake! Disney would have our asses.
And whoever loves his child.
Ain't thatz the fact of the fucking matter! ( 2 )
Shut up! You're gonna get us the shock treatment again! ( 2 )
... How is it a child alone is nothing but sweetness and obedience but a group of children together is an unruly and violent mob? Noisy, and disrespectful. Why can't children be together and be good at once?
If a child cannot behave on a farm, then they cannot behave anywhere and they'll work to occupy their little hands. Fresh air to filter their little lungs. Healthy for their little bellies. If a child cannot behave on a little farm, then maybe that child... Oh, I wouldn't even say.
Rotten, rotten to the core! Dr. Futterman will see you now.
You want to teach naughty children? There's no better tool than the drill, y'know why?
Dr. Futterman, I'm Dr. Futterman, mother, on the TV here silly slut!
If you can'ts teach them to floss or brush, then maybe a good ol' drill's enough.
Drills out all the rotten parts, and all thats left. ( 2 )
Do you want me to do a bad seed?
I won't foul up again, Dr. Futterman.
They can still be good children. ( 2 )
The children can hear you. Call me...
Is that what you calls raising up children?
Have to do everything myself! Everytime!
They're always watching, Doctor. Always.
And what do little children love, Doctor?
You stupid bitch! Just likes your idiot mother but she may now walkin' all over you!
A doctor prescribes you a daily dose of discipline.
Is diligent with discipline?
Do you know a five dollar word for having a look see, Dr. Futterman?
Oh, you children. Still haven't learn your lesson. You still think you could do whatever you please. Well, you're in Dr. Futterman's office now. That angry goose could be anywhere.
You can make them behave. You can drill away the bad parts and we can replace them with something better. I just don't want them to hurt me anymore.
... I'm trying to make them good children, I'am. Please don't hurt me anymore. You know I'm trying.
Daddy, you're a doctor. You could tell the other doctors how hard we tried.
Daddy, doctor I mean... We have to get through to them, I can't take a shock again.
If you won't learn, then there's only one lesson left.
God damnit. Mother Gooseberry, don't worry over so easy. What's the bestest time of child? One thats neither receives more hurt nor never gets on the fruit.
I know, Doctor Futterman.
It may hurt but they have to learn to behave. It's too harder world for little things that don't know the taste of a lash. Oh, suffer the children.
It just warms my heart. A child with a new toy. Why? They can't just help but behave.
How could you let thats happen to your little Futtermaniacs?
You have to be firm with them, Phyllis.
Those, terrible children. Just awful. No, no, they're confused, just confused. A firm hand and they'll learn to behave.
If there's one thing I can't stand in the child is ingratitude.
Gets the drill!
Not every child can be saved. ( 2 )
You stay away from my children. You don't know what I do to protect my babies.
You're gonna spoil them, Mother Gooseberry!
Cause that's what gets the point across.
I hear you says it! He who spares the rat!
Woah Phyllis, you igorant slut! What are you doing?
It's not my fault.
You thinks it's my fault? ( 2 )
You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's what Gooseberry says. I loves flies. Hmm, juicy little flies.
I don't see any cameras, Phyllis.
And if they stills says "No." ( 2 )
Calls me "doctor." The kidses might hear you.
Times to teach the little shitz, a little discipline!
TOYS!
I should've taken you off that ventilator.
Do you know best, doctor?
Then cry and scream!